Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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Your Mom.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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