out of your comfort zone

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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whats white and gooy liguid goop

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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I Have a Black Friend

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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