Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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Knock knock. Who's there You are.

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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e4ryka mcgyuire rode stephanie sinnott

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops