Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mama's so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What causes floods? Too much water.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call 200 black people dead in the ocean? It's a start.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

thumb_up thumb_down +2

brandon ya twwat

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Andy Carrol

thumb_up thumb_down

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

thumb_up thumb_down

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

thumb_up thumb_down

LIFE :(

thumb_up thumb_down

why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down

EGGPLANT

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops