Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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