What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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School

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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How are JFK and Jimmy Neutron similar? They both had brain blasts.

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Where's my baby??

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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pickle sniffer

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops