Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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Your MUM has aids :D LOL

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The BCS

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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The Holocaust.

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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