four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

Look how far I can kick this bucket

Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

A man sat on a chair

Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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