What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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Ron Paul for President!

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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AJ enjoyed his trip to Pen Island

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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