What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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