what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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24!

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Womens rights.

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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