Knock knock. Is someone there?

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why did the jew die Really...

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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