Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

Why did John stay home from school? He died.

Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

matty russel are you on here

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

Roses are red, Violets are purple

What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

what do you call a gay guy Ej

1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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