Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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Why cant you see black people when you are playing hide and seek? Because they are in a very good hiding spot

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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