Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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