What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

homework

A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

Why did the jew die Really...

How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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