What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the moose cross the road? to eat the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse then getting caught in the rain with no umbrella? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops