Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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Your mama's so stupid... She scored below average on a recent IQ test.

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 witnessed while hiding in a closit 7 rape and kill his mother.

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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