Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

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Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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