A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Pokemon pencil!!! A Pokemon pencil who? I just found a Pokemon pencil next to my computer when I was playing pokemon!!! LMFAO!

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

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i have yougurt with tractor

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Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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