Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

Hi

What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

There's my tractor.

What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

hi

Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

What do you call a black cop? Officer.

What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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