What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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Why did Edna fall off a cliff? Edna is blind, and so lacks the visual perception and spatial awareness of other hillwalkers.

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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what did one tree say to the other? move over

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Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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its snowing on mount fuji

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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