Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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why did the moose cross the road? to eat the baby.

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Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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69

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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You.

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I love watching pom Get your minds out of the gutter

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Scrotum!

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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obama

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Iggy Azalea

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops