Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

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What is white and is sometimes drunk? Milk.

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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