Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

children of those parents which are childless, are often childless too...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down -20

SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops