An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

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Where did the homeless man sleep? A rather nice hotel with fluffy pilloes

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What time is it? Refrigerator

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9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a cannibal.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Top Gear USA

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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