What's worse than eating cows. Death

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

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Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

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Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

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you know whats funny... nothing.

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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"Sorry, our servers are being derpy right now. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." "Couldn't find the lulz you were looking for. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." HORSEHEAD NETWORK... YOU CANT HANDLE THE LULZ! MORAL MAN!

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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