I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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No, Trinidad.

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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josh roberts goes to church to take advantage of religiously confused young boys

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

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Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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Your mama's so fat.

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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