Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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Your time.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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hi

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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These Jokes suck.

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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A planes crashes on the US-Canada border. The survivors are promptly taken to a hospital nearby to be treated for their injuries.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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