- Anti Joke

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

A.how does a penguin change a light bulb? A.the same way all other penguins change a lightbulb

what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

A Frenchman stays and fights

A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

this is not an anti joke

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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