What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

h

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops