What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

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Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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the WNBA

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roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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