What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I ponder

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

thumb_up thumb_down +3

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When I walk in the rain, I get wet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops