I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Womens' Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I need a good anti joke....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person 1: Can I write a good anti-joke? Person 2: No. Person 1: Why nut? Person 2: All the gud onez r taken. ;-; tru...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When im invisible you cant see me, i know

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops