what did one tree say to the other? move over

Why did Edna fall off a cliff? Edna is blind, and so lacks the visual perception and spatial awareness of other hillwalkers.

What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

what is sad about gingers ? they are an unrecognised visible minority.

How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

knock knock Come in!!!

The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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