A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is sad about gingers ? they are an unrecognised visible minority.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock Come in!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

its snowing on mount fuji

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops