Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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69

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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Toaster

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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obama

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your momma so dumb she put a battery up her but and said i got the power!!!

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Scrotum!

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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