Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is long and black The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Billy Cundiff.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Dance is a sport

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A homosexual walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops