Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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She said no

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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Have you heard the deaf guitarist? He's really good.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops