There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

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Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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Andy Carrol

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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