Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

Where do you go when your friends called you spoiled? Africa.

YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

Are you gay? No. Ok.

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

Many people of many races do many things every day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...