How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Man goes fishing.... Catches Fish.

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Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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So. The gays. ...

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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acualy is dolan

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speech and debate.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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