Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

yo mama so dumb she got hit by a parked car. ~YN~

What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

Whats better than 24? 25.

knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

yolo mother f-uckaaaa

Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

whats long and green? weed

A: B: No pun intended.

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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