Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Billy Cundiff.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

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Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

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Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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what do you call 10 mexicans standing in a line? It's probably a lunch line for a taco vendor. And even this is just a coincidence. Everybody loves tacos.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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