How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wheelchair high jump

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: what is the difference between a baby stroller and a black man. A: I don't try and hit black men when they cross the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Spiderman do when he saw a crime taking place? He stopped it

thumb_up thumb_down -23

GINGER PEOPLE

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If i could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't put U and I together. I'd put my dick in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does the party start when Kesha walks in? Well, it's Kesha's party and it would be rude to be in her house having a party when she wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than an STD ridden Blonde Crack Whore? a black

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops