What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops