(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Trolololollolololololololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

thumb_up thumb_down -31

knock, knok who's there? ya ya who? yahoo

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

thumb_up thumb_down -35

roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

thumb_up thumb_down -37

You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

thumb_up thumb_down -39

We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Gary Busey walk into a bar. Everyone Ran out noticing the potential danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

thumb_up thumb_down -85

What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops