A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If you are my friend like it!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Adam Fantuzzi loves stroking jacobs small penis

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, due to the lack of details, there could be many reasons, such as the possibility that there was a cornfield on the other side, he got scared by a loud noise behind him and ran across the street, or just plain old curiosity, but whatever it may be, right now, we do not know the cause.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Yo momma is so fat that we are incredibly concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What is better than a cat? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +50

*prepares this to get negged*

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops