How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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josh roberts goes to church to take advantage of religiously confused young boys

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This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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wsedrtyujiKFKJKLEFL;LKJRG Blame the economy. Don't hit me, I'm a girl! EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL RIGHTS!

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

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Whats green, has 4 legs and falls out a tree? A pool table

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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I saw a poor man named rich

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops