What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

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Where did the homeless man sleep? A rather nice hotel with fluffy pilloes

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Ron Paul for President!

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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