Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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John Stamos.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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What do you call a black man at the front of a bus? A bus driver

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:He didn't he was tortured then killed and turned into a sandwich that you can buy for the price of $1.00

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

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Why was the black man scared of the chainsaw? Because his father was killed by one when he landed on it when he fell of his ladder that was holding him up while he was cutting the limbs of a tree.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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Scott Gomez

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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