A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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whats long and green? weed

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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A homosexual walks into a church

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Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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