2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

Nicolas Cage

Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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