What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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69

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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YOU

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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